NO LAWYERS IN HEAVEN

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It started out as a so-called friendly divorce,

But she hired this attorney

and he drug us unto court,

Then he trotted out his legalese -

we had to sell the silver, the house and the car,

my video collection and my old gut-string guitar,

when he ledgered up his legal fees,

we watched as they hauled it all away...

then we knelt to pray:

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.

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I got mugged my first day in town,

I jumped up on that mugger's back

when I chased him down -

His counsel claimed I used excessive force,

his client suffered whiplash and undue mental stress,

Now he's back on welfare and occasionally depressed.

Then they said I showed contempt of court,

But the judge said she'd let me off
 this time, with just a fine.

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.

Amen.

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Ray Stevens

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(Here's a last chorus added on by

another singer who "covered" the song:

Charlie Sizemore - who's a LAWYER!)
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May there be no lawyers in heaven,

 No dog and pony shows,

No double-billin' buzzards,

No legal-eagles, way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die,

O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die.

Amen.

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