NO LAWYERS IN HEAVEN

.

.

.

It started out as a so-called friendly divorce,

But she hired this attorney

and he drug us unto court,

Then he trotted out his legalese -

we had to sell the silver, the house and the car,

my video collection and my old gut-string guitar,

when he ledgered up his legal fees,

we watched as they hauled it all away...

then we knelt to pray:

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.

.

I got mugged my first day in town,

I jumped up on that mugger's back

when I chased him down -

His counsel claimed I used excessive force,

his client suffered whiplash and undue mental stress,

Now he's back on welfare and occasionally depressed.

Then they said I showed contempt of court,

But the judge said she'd let me off
 this time, with just a fine.

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die,

O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.

Amen.

.

Ray Stevens

.

(Here's a last chorus added on by

another singer who "covered" the song:

Charlie Sizemore - who's a LAWYER!)
.

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

 No dog and pony shows,

No double-billin' buzzards,

No legal-eagles, way up there in the sky,

May there be no lawyers in heaven,

O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die,

O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die.

Amen.

.

.

2010 PREDICTION! MURDER ON THE RISE!

.

The year will see a spike

in the muder and mayhem statistics

nationwide. With the economy heading

to the scrapheap, millions out of work

or in the foreclosure column, the

frightening reality that billions upon

billions has been stolen and no one's

going to pay, the fact that many of

these scumball thieves are part of

Obama's team and are (one can bet)

already funneling the cash for

"recovery" out the back door with

forklifts, the fact that millions have

lost gillions in retirement funds, stock

portfolios, college funds, etc., etc.

with little or, in some cases, no hope

of decent recovery...well, for some folks

it's going to be a little too much.

The country's mental health is

suffering - too much high life now

gone to the dogs, and

too many things gone wrong,

too many opportunities now lost.

.

The ones who have the most to fear

are the Goldman-Sachs boys and

their Wall Street buddies,

particularly the big bonus guys

from the bailout-money outfits,

stock brokers and real estate liars,

bankers, lawyers (these folks

need to be especially wary),

most of the U.S. Congress,

government employees who are

either idiots, theives, or both,

bad cops, corrupt DA's and judges

of all stripes - metro to the Supreme,

worthless doctors, insurance flacks,

hospital administrators,

crooked accountants,

Hollywood scum on all levels,

and other assorted pigs from

various cash troughs.

.

Violence seems inevitable.

Everything's out of balance;

some people go over the edge.

The fact that innocent civilians

and families are sometimes the

target of rage and mental instability

is tragic.

The idea that the guilty, the proud,

and the evil might go meet their Maker,

where there will be much weeping

and the gnashing of teeth,

seems somehow less tragic.

Actually, it doesn't seem tragic at all.

Justice is going to be served,

one way or another.