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Monday, May 2, 2011

NO LAWYERS IN HEAVEN

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It started out as a so-called friendly divorce,
But she hired this attorney
and he drug us unto court,
Then he trotted out his legalese -
we had to sell the silver, the house and the car,
my video collection and my old gut-string guitar,
when he ledgered up his legal fees,
we watched as they hauled it all away...
then we knelt to pray:
May there be no lawyers in heaven,
No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,
May there be no lawyers in heaven,
O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.
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I got mugged my first day in town,
I jumped up on that mugger's back
when I chased him down -
His counsel claimed I used excessive force,
his client suffered whiplash and undue mental stress,
Now he's back on welfare and occasionally depressed.
Then they said I showed contempt of court,
But the judge said she'd let me off
 this time, with just a fine.
May there be no lawyers in heaven,
No legal-eagles way up there in the sky,
May there be no lawyers in heaven,
O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die,
O Lord, let 'em go somewhere else when they die.
Amen.
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Ray Stevens
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(Here's a last chorus added on by
another singer who "covered" the song:
Charlie Sizemore - who's a LAWYER!)
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May there be no lawyers in heaven,
 No dog and pony shows,
No double-billin' buzzards,
No legal-eagles, way up there in the sky,
May there be no lawyers in heaven,
O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die,
O Lord, let em' go somewhere else when they die.
Amen.
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