BEING ALONE

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WHAT IS SOLITUDE?

Loneliness is marked by a sense of isolation.

Solitude, on the other hand, is a state

of being alone without being lonely

and can lead to self-awareness.

As the world spins faster and faster—or maybe

it just seems that way when an email can travel

around the world in fractions of a second-

we mortals need a variety of ways
to cope with the resulting pressures.

We need to maintain some semblance of

balance and some sense that we are

steering the ship of our life.

Otherwise we feel overloaded,

overreact to minor annoyances and feel like

we can never catch up. As far as I'm concerned,

one of the best ways is by seeking,

and enjoying, solitude.
That said, there is an important distinction

to be established right off the bat.

There is a world of difference between

solitude and loneliness, though the two terms

are often used interchangeably.
From the outside, solitude and loneliness

look a lot alike. Both are characterized

by solitariness. But all resemblance

ends at the surface.

Loneliness is a negative state,

marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that

something is missing. It is possible to be

with people and still feel lonely—

perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.

Solitude is the state of being alone

without being lonely. It is a positive and

constructive state of engagement with oneself.

Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone

where you provide yourself wonderful

and sufficient company.

Solitude is a time that can be used

for reflection, inner searching or growth

or enjoyment of some kind.

Deep reading requires solitude,

so does experiencing the beauty of nature.

Thinking and creativity usually do too.
Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from

a state of inner richness.

It is a means of enjoying the quiet

and whatever it brings that is satisfying

and from which we draw sustenance.

It is something we cultivate.

Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to

renew ourselves.

In other words, it replenishes us.

Loneliness is harsh, punishment,

a deficiency state, a state of discontent

marked by a sense of estrangement,

an awareness of excess aloneness.
Solitude is something you choose.

Loneliness is imposed on you by others.

We all need periods of solitude,

although temperamentally we probably

differ in the amount of solitude we need.

Some solitude is essential;

it gives us time to explore and know ourselves.

It is the necessary counterpoint to intimacy,

what allows us to have a self worthy of sharing.

Solitude gives us a chance to regain perspective.

It renews us for the challenges of life.

It allows us to get (back) into the position

of driving our own lives, rather than having

them run by schedules and demands from without.
Solitude restores body and mind.

Lonelinesss depletes them.

Hara Estroff Marano

Psychology Today, July 01, 2003

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Conversation enriches the understanding,

but solitude is the school of genius.

x

Sir Edward Gibbon

18th Century British Historian

Author of The History of the

Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire